For some reason the powers that be thought 2008’s pleasant and fun “Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull” was not a good enough finale to the series and brought the 80 + year old Harrison Ford back to dawn the fedora and go on one last adventure. What a mistake. This installment, which is without the deft/light story telling skills of Steven Spielberg, is a dark, somber, joyless, confusing and, worst of all, a “Dull” final entry into the franchise.
James Mangold, who did a nice job of bringing much needed depth and a somber tone to the X-Men universe with “Logan”, was assigned to direct. I am guessing he was handpicked by Harrison Ford, who, for some reason, wanted to bring that same touch to Indiana Jones. However, while the X-Men have, I am estimating here, 2872 different films in multiple universes and needed a darker tone to help with its watered down franchise, each Indiana Jones has been a carefully crafted adventure with over-the-top villains, inspired stories, outrageous stunts and always entertained the audience in new and fun ways. It did not need a deep end-of-life requiem of one of the world’s most beloved heroes.
The movie starts off at the end of World War 2 with Indiana and his partner Basis Shaw (A new character played by Toby Jones) trying to save artifacts from being pillaged by the Nazi’s. Particularly half of a numerological dial created by Archimedes. He also encounters an evil Nazi Scientist played by Mads Micholson who seems to be the only person who realizes its potential. Harrison Ford is amazingly de-aged in this segment and contains the film’s best stunts, narrow exits and has you at the edge of your seat. It is a great 15-20 minutes.
Fast forward to 1969 and the movie completely comes to a crawl if not a stop. Indiana is a grumpy old man living in a sad apartment in New York and is separated from Marion. The evil scientist became the mind behind the US Space Program. Indy’s partner from the first scene has passed away, but his daughter, and Indy’s God daughter, Helena, shows up for his last lecture. She is played by Phoebe Waller-Bridge who brings some much-needed bright energy and spunk to the film.
Helena poses as a college student, but we soon come to understand that she is an adventurer trying to find the relic her father and Indiana recovered to put on the market. The Nazi has a couple sadistic guards who enjoy killing people, and for some reason, we have some brutally violent scenes of them executing librarians, office workers, agents and a poor Greek ship crew. Unlike the Indy’s of the past we get a more intimate experience of the bodies that are falling in the wake. There are some boring chases, poor set pieces, and lazy writing until we arrive at final confrontation and the “can or can’t the item actually do what it is supposed to do” moment. I won’t give away any of the twists or turns but honestly, I was struggling to remember them and the climax is amazingly underwhelming.
Overall, the movie is shot in drab colors, the actions scenes after the initial segment are bland and the cat and mouse between villain and hero makes no sense. At one point, in the middle of the ocean, Mads Mickelson watches Indiana and team boat away in the middle of the ocean and seems to understand the exact location they are going to in Spain.
Outside of a nice fun performance from Waller Briggs, and an exciting opening scene, this is a gigantic misfire. It is a true outlier in the Indiana Jones library, a boring and depressing action film, and a gloomy end to a hero we have come to love over the past 40 years. There is a reason James Bond never aged and we just kept getting a new actor. Same should have been said for Indiana Jones. I don’t think the old-time serials that inspired the original “Raiders of the Lost Ark” had any installments that focused on the effects of old age on its heroes. Everybody involved should have remembered that before they went down this dark, dank and lifeless rabbit hole. Luckily the first four films will survive this misfire.